Life today often feels like a constant cycle of responsibilities, deadlines, and expectations. Many people wake up, rush through work or school, check off endless tasks, collapse into bed, and repeat the next day. While this may create a sense of productivity, it can leave us feeling unfulfilled in the long run. Over time, that fast-paced, automatic rhythm can make us wonder: Am I really living the life I want?
This is where living life according to your values becomes essential. When your daily actions reflect what matters most to you—whether that’s relationships, creativity, family, spirituality, or personal growth—you create a more profound sense of meaning and direction. And if you find yourself out of sync, the good news is that there are reasonable steps you can take to realign your life with your values. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers valuable tools to help you build a life that feels authentic, balanced, and worth living.
Why Values Matter for Long-Term Well-Being
Values are like a personal compass. They guide decisions, shape priorities, and influence how we respond to challenges. When we live in harmony with our values, we often feel grounded and purposeful. But when our daily actions clash with what we care about most, the result can be stress, emptiness, or a nagging sense that something is missing.
This is where DBT can help. By blending acceptance and change strategies—what’s known as the dialectic—you can learn to recognize where your life may be misaligned and take small, intentional steps to shift it back on track. To better understand how this balance works, explore more about what dialectic means in DBT.
Discovering Your Core Values
Taking time to reflect on your values allows you to clarify what truly matters. Begin by asking yourself:
- What brings me long-term happiness and fulfillment?
- Which relationships, activities, or commitments feel most meaningful to me?
- How do I want to be remembered by the people closest to me?
Typical values include family, financial security, spiritual connection, health, creativity, personal growth, and service to others. Once you identify your top values, you can begin to imagine what a life aligned with them would look like.
For example:
- If creativity is a core value, your week might include setting aside time for painting, writing, or music.
- If relationships are central, you may commit to regular quality time with loved ones.
- If well-being is a priority, you should focus on consistent self-care and mindfulness practices.
DBT helps bring these values into focus by providing tools that encourage mindful awareness and intentional living. For a deeper dive into this therapeutic approach, see what DBT is and how dialectics shape it.
Practical Steps to Live by Your Values
Once you’ve determined your core values, the next step is to bring them into your daily life. Here’s a structured way to start:
- Choose one value to focus on. For example, if health is important, decide to start a mindfulness or movement practice.
- Identify three actions that reflect that value. For health, this could be eating balanced meals, exercising regularly, or setting a consistent bedtime.
- Break it down further. Pick one action and write out three small steps to begin.
- Take the first step today. Momentum builds when you start small and stay consistent.
This process ensures you’re not only reflecting on values but actively embedding them into your daily choices. Many people find support and accountability through structured therapy. Our DBT skills classes are specifically designed to help individuals translate values into sustainable habits.
The Role of DBT in Values-Based Living
DBT emphasizes creating a “life worth living,” a phrase that captures the essence of aligning daily life with personal values. Skills such as mindfulness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance equip you to handle challenges while staying true to what matters most.
For example:
- Mindfulness permits you to pause and reflect before reacting in ways that contradict your values.
- Emotion regulation helps you stay steady when emotions might otherwise pull you off course.
- Distress tolerance gives you the resilience to endure difficult moments without abandoning your long-term goals.
At the Oakland DBT Center, we specialize in guiding individuals to integrate these skills into everyday life, ensuring that therapy isn’t just about coping—it’s about thriving.
Building Momentum Around Your Values
The journey toward values-based living is not about perfection, but about consistent and intentional practice. Start by setting aside uninterrupted time to reflect, journal, or visualize the future you want. Keep a running list of small, values-driven actions you can take each week. Over time, these small steps accumulate into significant shifts.
If you find it challenging to identify or prioritize your values, working with a therapist can help you clarify what matters most and provide support in aligning your choices. Our individual therapy in Oakland offers personalized guidance to help you live more authentically and with greater purpose.
Conclusion
Living life according to your values means more than simply “keeping up” with daily demands. It’s about slowing down, reflecting on what matters most, and taking intentional steps toward a life that feels aligned, balanced, and meaningful. With DBT skills and the proper support, you can bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
If you’re ready to explore how DBT can help you create a life that reflects your deepest values, we invite you to connect with our team at the Oakland DBT Center. Together, we can help you build the future you want—one step, one choice, and one value at a time.
FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)
What does it mean to live according to your values?
Living according to your values means making choices that reflect what is most important to you, such as relationships, creativity, or personal growth. When your actions align with these priorities, you create a sense of purpose and long-term fulfillment. It is about living intentionally, not just reacting to daily demands.
How can DBT help me identify my core values?
DBT uses mindfulness practices that encourage self-reflection, helping you become more aware of what truly matters. These skills support you in clarifying values like balance, family, or well-being. By building awareness, DBT makes it easier to take actions that are consistent with those values.
What if my current life doesn’t align with my values?
It’s common to feel out of sync at times, but small, intentional steps can help bring your life back into alignment. Start by identifying one value and choosing simple actions that reflect it. Over time, this process builds momentum and creates lasting change.
Can DBT skills really create long-term balance?
Yes. DBT equips you with tools for managing emotions, reducing stress, and staying focused on your priorities. By consistently practicing these skills, you can effectively handle challenges while maintaining your values. This creates a balanced and sustainable way of living.
How do I begin living more in line with my values today?
Start by setting aside peaceful time to reflect on what matters most and make a list of values-driven actions. Choose one small step you can take immediately, whether that’s reaching out to a loved one, practicing mindfulness, or setting healthy boundaries. Each small step builds a stronger foundation for long-term change.
