The holiday season often carries a mix of joy, togetherness, and—if we’re honest—stress. For many people, the gatherings, expectations, and responsibilities feel overwhelming rather than uplifting. Balancing family dynamics, social obligations, or even the memories that holidays bring up can feel like too much. That’s why learning practical tools to regulate emotions is essential. One powerful approach comes from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), specifically the imagery skill within distress tolerance strategies, which can help you manage difficult moments and experience the holidays with more peace and balance.
Why the Holidays Can Be Emotionally Challenging
Holidays are a prime example of life’s dialectics: they can bring warmth and connection, yet also stress and conflict. For some, the season is marked by grief or reminders of loss. For others, family gatherings can be triggering, filled with old patterns or unspoken expectations. When emotions run high, it’s easy to react impulsively, shut down, or feel overwhelmed.
DBT reminds us that two truths can coexist—you can appreciate the joy of the season and still acknowledge the difficulties it brings. Learning skills that help you hold both realities without judgment is what makes the difference. If you’re new to this therapeutic approach, exploring more about what DBT is and how dialectics work can provide valuable context.
The Role of Imagery in DBT Distress Tolerance
One of the most accessible tools in distress tolerance is imagery—the “I” in the DBT skill set known as IMPROVE the Moment. This practice involves using visualization to shift your perspective, calm your nervous system, and anchor yourself in a more balanced state of mind.
How Imagery Works
Your brain responds to imagined experiences much like it does to real ones. By intentionally focusing on a soothing mental image, you give your body and mind a break from stressful triggers. The skill isn’t about escaping reality forever; it’s about creating a temporary pause to regulate emotions, allowing you to return to challenges with greater clarity.
For example, you might picture yourself at a favorite vacation spot, on a quiet hiking trail, or beside the ocean. Or you may create a fantasy environment of your own—a peaceful garden, a warm cabin, or even an entirely new world limited only by imagination.
This practice connects directly to the middle path of dialectics. Instead of being trapped in either/or thinking (“the holidays must be perfect” vs. “the holidays are unbearable”), imagery helps you hold space for calm amid chaos. You can read more about how this balancing act works in our guide on what dialectic in DBT means.
Practical Ways to Use the Imagery Skill
There’s no single right way to use imagery—the key is discovering what resonates with you. Here are some approaches you can try:
- Transport yourself to a memory. Recall a moment when you felt grounded, safe, or joyful. Notice the sights, sounds, and sensations of that memory as vividly as possible.
- Create a sanctuary. Design a mental space that only you know—perhaps a quiet forest, a sunlit beach, or a room decorated exactly how you want. This can be a place you revisit whenever stress begins to build.
- Visualize release. Imagine your stress as a knot shrinking smaller, or as dark smoke leaving your body with each exhale, while warm light fills you with every inhale.
- Play with perspective. At a family dinner, picture each guest as a friendly animal or imagine the whole scene as if it were part of a playful story. This creative distance can ease tension.
- Focus on simple imagery. Visualize a color, shape, or candle flame. This minimal anchor keeps your mind gently occupied and away from distressing thoughts.
If you’d like to practice skills like these in a supportive environment, joining a DBT skills class can be a transformative step. These groups offer hands-on learning and community support to make the skills second nature.
Putting the Skill into Practice
Like any mindfulness-based tool, imagery becomes more effective with practice. Here’s a simple way to try it:
- Before beginning, rate your distress on a scale of 0 to 10.
- Close your eyes and bring an image to mind—whether a memory, a calming scene, or a visual of stress leaving your body.
- Spend two to five minutes holding the image, noticing how your body responds.
- When you’re ready, check in with yourself again. Has your tension lowered? Has your breathing slowed? Even a small shift matters.
Over time, practicing imagery helps your body recognize that you can access calm even in the middle of chaos.
Common Concerns About Using Imagery
Some people worry that visualization is a way of “avoiding problems.” In DBT, the goal isn’t to escape permanently but to get through difficult moments without making them worse. Imagery is a short-term tool, not a substitute for problem-solving. It helps regulate emotions, allowing you to approach challenges with greater perspective and effectiveness.
If you find yourself struggling with dissociation, it’s essential to differentiate between numbing out and intentionally engaging in imagery as a focused skill. Practicing with guidance—through individual therapy in Oakland, for example—can ensure you’re using the skill in a healthy, supportive way.
The Bigger Picture: DBT for a Balanced Life
The imagery skill is just one piece of DBT’s comprehensive framework for building a life worth living. From mindfulness and emotional regulation to interpersonal effectiveness, DBT offers an extensive set of strategies that help individuals transition from merely surviving to thriving.
At Oakland DBT Center, we offer a range of services designed to meet people where they are—whether that means group classes, one-on-one therapy, or a complete treatment program. With guidance and practice, these skills don’t just apply during the holidays; they become lifelong tools for resilience.
Closing Thoughts
The holiday season doesn’t have to be defined by stress. With DBT’s imagery skill, you can step back, breathe, and find peace—even in the middle of a crowded family dinner or a demanding schedule. By practicing visualization, you’re giving yourself the chance to respond from a calmer, wiser place rather than being swept away by pressure.
If you’re ready to explore these tools further, consider learning more about DBT skills classes or connecting with a therapist who can guide you. With practice and support, a calmer, more balanced holiday season is truly possible.
FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)
How can DBT skills help during stressful holiday gatherings?
DBT skills, such as imagery, mindfulness, and distress tolerance, provide ways to stay calm and grounded during overwhelming situations. By practicing these tools, you can manage emotions without reacting impulsively. This makes holiday interactions feel more balanced and less draining.
What is the imagery skill in DBT, and why is it useful?
Imagery is the practice of creating calming mental pictures to reduce emotional intensity in the moment. It gives your brain and body a short break from stress, making it easier to respond effectively. This is especially helpful during holidays when triggers are common.
Can imagery replace therapy or long-term solutions?
No, imagery is not a replacement for therapy—it is a short-term tool to regulate emotions when they feel overwhelming. Long-term growth comes from consistent DBT practice, problem-solving, and therapy support. Imagery helps you “get through the moment” with less distress.
What if I struggle to visualize calming images?
Not everyone finds visualization easy at first, but practice can help. You can start with simple images like colors, shapes, or a single object and build from there. Over time, your imagination becomes a more reliable resource for calming emotions.
How can I learn DBT skills beyond the holidays?
DBT skills are valid year-round for managing emotions, improving relationships, and building resilience. You can explore them through individual therapy, group sessions, or DBT skills classes. These programs provide structure and support for integrating skills into everyday life.
